Another quick(?) jaunt(?) to Chicago today, and now I’m home.  Went to see my Grandma in the hospital.  She’s weak, but looks like she’ll be there a few days and then be able to go home.

Unfortunately, her overall condition, while not itself fatal, will never get any better or even improve.  That’s the problem with little-know progressively degenerative disorders.  But for now, oxygen, antibiotics, and fluids is what she needs and what she’s getting.

I’m feeling a little better about it tonight, and I’m really glad I went to see her.  Last night, completely against my will, I found myself slipping into an anxiety attack, even though I didn’t think I was that worried.  Fortunately, S recognized it, and I have medication for such occasions (though they are extremely rare for me, they do happen), and he was able to get me calmed down.

Apparently, I’m more stressed about this than I thought.  I’m wondering how much more stress my poor body can take.

I’m thinking of calling my old therapist (who I haven’t seen for a few years), but I’m not sure what good it will do.  I know that the problem is grief and stress – what else except time is going to start to relieve them?  But whatever.  I’ll see what she thinks.

And now Kitty has decided that I’m done with this post, as he’s standing on my stomace and purring and making it very difficult to type.